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Impatience
The loneliness of the day sinks in like ocean water did your sand pail as a child,
Immersing it completely but leaving neither the sand nor the water the same
Every conversation meaningless
Just one more way
To waste a few more minuets
Of one more day
The emptiness of the cold bed that once was ours is a disgusting shell that I avoid
Like careful steps taken during cicada season
Just one more tear
Shed for an overflowing jar
Filled by one more year
The aching pain claws at my flesh from the inside tearing it like the claws of some wild cat
Not kneading but trying to shred it’s way out
Just one more drop of blood
Whose cells come together to heal
Another of my many wounds
While you sit there with your paint brush filling in the lines drawn by someone elses pen
Taking a picture and making it all yours with color and life
Another stroke
Of your genius
Just for me
You lift the steel high above your chest telling the other men to add more weight remembering you like big girls lifting deep into yourself
Another pound
Another rep
Just for me
And you read your books filled with Hebrew and Greek of ancient ways
Mouthing the words to make sense of them
Another blessing
Another schrying
Just for me
I know that when you come home it will be another chapter in a book of work
Filled with chapters that do not let us rest
We may argue
We may struggle
We will love
Maya Borja McCroskey
